BELLE: There goes the baker with his tray like always
BAKER: well there goes Belle, singing her DAILY MEAN SONG about us
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 16, 2017
*slams hands on table*
HOW DID BUZZ KNOW TO FREEZE AROUND HUMANS IF HE DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A TOY, CAROL?
— Goddamnit Jamie (@Jay_FrickinLynn) July 2, 2015
I can't even tell you how mad I would be as sleeping beauty if some dude just came in & woke me up & then was like let's get married.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 12, 2016
If I were Princess Belle I'd never get past the talking furniture. 4 days in I'd still be screaming.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) July 29, 2016
A 90s Disney exec reclines with his feet on the conference table. He takes a few puffs from his cigar.
"Goofy should have a dead wife."
— Kibblesmith ⚔️ (@kibblesmith) February 25, 2017
That prince in Sleeping Beauty really doesn’t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn’t brushed her teeth in 100 years.
— Swedish Canary (@SwedishCanary) June 16, 2017
We really never talked enough about the fact that Ariel's main hobby was "looting corpses for whatever they had in their pockets."
— Sady Doyle (@sadydoyle) March 18, 2014
Belle was the first hot girl to pretend she was a nerd in high school
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 30, 2015
Sebastian the Crab had the right idea singing constantly cause if I was Ariel I'd eat his delicious flesh the second the showtunes stopped.
— Conor Ohworst (@Mactasia) June 9, 2011
My favorite character in Beauty and the Beast is this dresser waiting to fuck up a villager with a baseball bat. pic.twitter.com/R6oEwFPbXA
— Brock Baker (@BrockBaker) March 27, 2017
The most amazing thing about Finding Dory is how they managed to put a receding hairline on a fish pic.twitter.com/Yz0W4M57oN
— Melanie Bracewell (@meladoodle) June 14, 2017
Maybe Aladdin would be able to get a real job if he wore a shirt and not just a tiny vest
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) March 5, 2016
Belle could have easily set up some kind of literacy program in her town instead of being a pretentious snit about it
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) June 28, 2016
Total bs that when Sleeping Beauty spends all day in bed she's a "beautiful princess," but when I do the same I'm "clinically depressed."
— Sarah (@thetigersez) October 31, 2014
Do we all agree there is a 100% chance an earlier version of this machine killed Belle's mom pic.twitter.com/UUmmccEURL
— Kibblesmith ⚔️ (@kibblesmith) July 2, 2016
"You're still a winner," Pinocchio whispered into his third drink. He wept as his nose grew to touch the glass.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 22, 2014
My favorite Disney song is the one where the baby lion can't wait for his dad to die so he can be King
— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) April 8, 2017